A repost: Because of March Madness

I wrote this blog entry four years ago (wow, I'm getting old), but thought I would repost it because of the start of the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship.  Also, because I am a HUGE Ohio State fan!!
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I realize I may be going out on a limb talking about basketball (given that most of you who volunteer in CM are probably don't care much about sports), but this is worth reading. We are coming into Championship weekend of the NCAA Tournament for 2007 and, in case you did not realize it, my Ohio State Buckeyes are still in it. (By the way....where is Michigan this year?) :) The real reason I am posting about this is not necessarily about baskeball...read this:

When UCLA’s legendary basketball coach John Wooden introduced the fast break to college basketball, his team committed the highest number of turnovers and fouls in memory. But Wooden knew “mistakes were part of learning.” He expected them, and he knew that “every opportunity for failure was equally an opportunity for success.” Wooden’s teams went on to perfect the fast-break offense, and today it is used by nearly every team in the nation. His teams went on to win ten national collegiate championships in twelve years, one of the most remarkable team achievements in all of sports history. ( If It Ain’t Broke, Break It! pgs. 193-194.)

There is much that God can do through you as you allow Him to show you what could happen. I am convinced God has great things in store for you and the Children's Ministry of "The Woods" if we will release it to Him. Mistakes may be made along the way, but God will be in control.

So...do you have any thoughts or insights. I want you guys to be comfortable commenting on here. Remember you can do it anonymously, so do not fear! 

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Go Bux!!!  O-H ...

Blessing of Your Home

Mark Holmen visited our church last week and conducted a Parenting Workshop.  One of the things he talked about was conducting a Home Blessing.  I went online and did a little research and found a few helpful resources.  The one I like the best is this one:

Home Blessing

Here are a few more:

http://ezinearticles.com/?House-Blessings---Bless-Yours-NOW!&id=120835

http://www.hannahscupboard.com/ST-house-blessing.html

http://homepages.sover.net/~hkfamily/Pages/HouseBlessing.html

If you live in the Thumb area of Michigan or attend CWMC and would like help conducting this ceremony, give me a shout!

God Bless

Hot off the Presses - The Journey

As Family Journey in Faith has grown over the last 3 years at Colonial Woods, a desire to encourage, inspire and equip as many parents as possible has risen.  This desire does not just include families of pre-school and Elementary kids, but those with pre-teens and teenagers as well.  To that end, it is my joy to begin to offer a resource for parents of ALL aged kids who wish to continue to mentor and disciple their children in the home.

"The Journey" is a quarterly (for now) newsletter available for download that provides insights, encouragement, and resources for parents as we seek to carry out the Great Commission in our families.  I know what you may be thinking:  "Oh great!  One more thing to read to fill up "all this time" I have on my hands!?!?!?"  (Sarcasm intended.)  The FJIF team understands you are busy!  We understand there are thousands of messages speaking into your marriage and family every day!  You don't necessarily need one more thing to do....

But the FJIF team also understands that God has placed each parent into the primary role to teach their kids about God.  We are the ones they will learn about any and all spiritual matters from; and as Jesus followers I very much want my kids to follow Him as well.  Take a look through "The Journey" and let God encourage you through it.

Also, let us know your thoughts and insights for future editions.  There is also a Giveaway Contest if you would like to participate.

In Him,
Dean

The Race is On for our Kids

I ran across this recording from a website - Visionary Parenting - and needed to share with all of you.  Dr. Rob Rienow is the Family Pastor at Wheaton Bible Church in Wheaton, IL.  It's a little long, but you could listen to it while checking out Facebook, your email or other work.

Here is the description from Dr. Rienow's website:

How effective is your Children's Ministry at supporting parents and helping children discover and grow in Christ?  This message from Rob Rienow was given to the 200 Children's Ministry leaders/volunteers at Wheaton Bible Church. Please consider sharing this message with the Children's team at your church. Listen by clicking below, or download via the podcast link. After listening to the message, view the powerpoint (warning: VERY graphic) that Rob refers to HERE!


Our kids are being sought after HIGHLY by Satan - will we win the fight for the next generation?  Are we being the parents God wants us to be in carrying out our MAIN purpose in our families?  


In Him, Dean

They're.....just.....kids!

I hear these 3 little words more than I want to admit!  And, like Mike Johnson from Fellowship Church, it IRKS me!  Kids deserve our best!  They deserve to be trained properly before sending them on the front lines of the battle field!  Watch this powerful video for a great illustration of what it means when we DON'T train our kids to follow Christ:



What I love about the volunteers of Anchor CM and Family Journey in Faith is that they care about giving kids the suit of armor they need to stand against the schemes and battles they will face.  WAY TO GO TEAM!!!!

Dean

In a Nutshell... (a rather LARGE one)

This is how you do it...raise fully committed disciples of Christ. Just follow these 9 simple steps...but it is harder than it appears! The 5 principles of passing on your faith to your children and 4 keys to instilling Christ in your kids and family life listed below are from The Youth and Family Institute located in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. Check them out:

FIVE PRINCIPLES for passing on faith
1. Faith is formed by the power of the Holy Spirit through personal, trusted relationships—often in our own homes.
2. The church is a living partnership between the ministry of the congregation and the ministry of the home.
3. Where Christ is present in faith, the home is church, too.
4. Faith is caught more than it is taught.
5. If we want Christian children and youth, we need Christian adults and parents.

FOUR KEYS for daily living
1. Caring Conversations
2. Devotions
3. Service
4. Rituals and Traditions

These are also some of the concepts we will be focusing on with the Family Journey in Faith team and the events/programs we put together. Begin to focus on applying these in your homes and get prepared to see God do wonderful things in your homes.

His, Dean

How to T.R.A.I.N. your children

Those of you who attended the FJIF Take-Home Event, you heard some of this; but I wanted to take a bit more time to look at how we can and should intentionally T.R.A.I.N our children. Proverbs 22:6 encourages us to train our children and offeres a promise in return. Moses in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 tells us to teach our children the commandments and Love of God, and do it ALL THE TIME! In fact, there is never a time in which we are NOT teaching our children about God and His Love / Promises.

Therefore, since you're doing it anyway: WHY NOT BE INTENTIONAL IN IT?! Mark Holmen, former Senior Pastor at Ventura Missionary Church, and found of the Faith Begins @ Home movement, wrote a book called Faith Begins at Home. He takes the word T.R.A.I.N  and makes it into an acronym for us to easily remember 5 key principles in how to intentionally disciple our children.

For this post, let's only focus on the first letter "T." T, if you were not able to quess, stands for Time. In today's world, time is one of our most precious commodities. The primary question I hear from parents is, "When is there time to talk with my children about faith?"

For most parents the stereo-typical image that comes to mind when you say "faith-talk" is having an hour-long, sit-down discussion at the kitchen table with the Bible open and a candle burning. Of course, the realty today is that a lot of families don't even have kitchen table, and they certainly don't have a full hour when they can talk together! In our increasingly busy lives, we must make the best of the time that we have. So when is the best time to discuss our faith with our children? The only reasonable answer is anytime.
Here are 3 of 7 times that are perfect times for starting to converse to your children about God and Faith:

1. Car Time - Doesn't it seem that the most time you spend together as a family is when you're in the car, on your way to the next thing you have to do? Try turning off the radio and asking your children what "highs" and "lows" they had during the day. Then take a moment to pray for the event that you’re headed to next.

2. Sick Time - Another significant block of time that you have with your children occurs when they are sick and have to stay home from school. While no one looks forward to his or her child being sick, it does provide time to have a healthy conversation. Sick time gives you a chance to watch videos or listen to music together. So why not chose videos that will naturally lead to talking about issues of faith and life?

3. Bed Time - There might not be a better time to talk about faith than at bedtime. Share the highs and lows form the day and then take time to pray for each other. With teenagers you can ask, "What's on your schedule tomorrow that I can pray for? Do any of your friends need prayer for anything?"

(These sections are taken directly from Mark Holmen's book.)

Dean

How do you view children?

I ran across this sign today and wanted to share it with you:

Clearly in God's word children are called a blessing, yet in our culture they are often treated as a nuisance, a distraction and a hindrance to our success.  Just last week as my family and I (Remember, 5 kids and 2 adults) were entering a restaurant, my wife noticed a rather judgmental glance from one of the other patrons.  After sitting down and ordering our drinks, that same lady walked over on her way out and said, "When I first saw you guys coming, I thought 'Oh, No?!?;' but you have a wonderful family."

[Caveat - we have our moments!]

If we truly think children are a blessing, we will praise the families that choose to accept as many as God blesses them with.  I'm not saying everyone needs to have 4, 5, 6 or more children - I am simply stating that in our culture - WE HAVE IT BACKWARDS!  We easily take on things that the Bible calls a curse, and just as quickly reject what the Bible calls a blessing.

In Him, Dean

President's Speech - So Any thoughts?

Whether you watched "The Speech" here or somewhere else (or not at all), do you have any thoughts on what the President said? Basically, it seems to have come and gone much like any other thing politicians seem to say.

The President seemed to focus on the broad topic of Personal Responsibility - a topic also well covered in the Bible. Nothing earth shattering or that upsetting in the speech....except I do have one thought.

As believers, we are called to have Christ at the VERY CENTER of our lives. Seemingly everything we do and say should be done with keeping Him there. So, the millions of lost people that saw this video today: Did it help them come any closer to a relationship with their Creator? Did it help the thousands (likely more) Christian kids in public schools grow any deeper in their walk with Christ? See I don't have an issue with the President speaking to the kids in our schools...I think with parental notification and coaching they SHOULD watch the video. What I struggle with is whether or not this helps our kids and families to KNOW God more? (Even if I do not favor his opinoins and policies, his story is one many public school kids can relate to!)

I think it can if the parents step into that process. Human behavior defaults to the sinful and negative side of things. We must be intentional in teaching our kids to see God and take on Biblical values. If we leave things up to "nature," our kids will not come to it on their own. And if we believe that God's Word is sufficient for ALL OF LIFE, then a speech by some guy in a powerful office won't even phase them - one way or another.

But just don't leave it hanging there either. Take this and ANY opportunity to teach your kids about God and His Word to us.

Dean

PS - The pic is one of an actual cover off Time Magazine back in 2007. You can read the article online HERE.

School's Back in Session-Post #1

...or will be soon enough (shout out to all those who don't start school until after Labor Day)!! I hear conversations all over the place about what kids and parents are excited about this upcoming school year. I hear conversations about the different between public school, christian/private school and home school. I hear about parent meetings and student orientations taking place. I even hear and see comments from parents (usually *moms*) about sending their young kids to school for the first time.

I went to public school nearly my entire life (1/2 semester in private, Catholic school that I cannot even remember), and I remember thinking often about why I need to learn to read, write, do math, understand science, etc. As an adult, being WAY more sophisticated (*cough, cough*), that question has morphed into "What exactly is the purpose of education?"

Just doing a Google search on that question brings about 161,000,000 hits!!! Here is how a few of them answer that question:

• "The purpose of education is to make the world a better place!"
• "The purpose of education is mental, moral, and aesthetic development, the unfolding of each person's personal best."
• “The only purpose of education is to teach a student how to live his life-by developing his mind and equipping him to deal with reality."
• “The central task of education is to implant a will and facility for learning; it should produce not learned but learning people. "
• "The true purpose of education is to bring about profoundness to one's emotions, to broaden one's perspectives and to lead to a healthier approach of looking at life."

Such a myriad of answers to a seemingly simple question!!! It appears that these definitions and others seem to have 2 things in common: 1) Education is something we receive or do, so that 2) we can give it away or go out and make a difference. Sound familiar???

As believers, we are to RECEIVE the Grace and Love of God through acceptance (the doing) of His Gift, then GO and make a differnece in the world. Education is about Knowing and Growing in Christ to then share that love with others. The goal of education for our children is for them to know God personally and then share it to others.

I'm gonna post some more on this topic over the coming week or so, but feel free to leave some thoughts and comments on this train of thought so far.

Bring God into the Equation

Typically, when my family is out and about, we get lots of people looking at us - some even make comments about / to us. You see, with 5 kids we are one of the larger families in the area (Port Huron, MI). We hear things like:

• I could never do that!
• It's hard enough with the two that I have!
• She must be a saint! (Interesting they never say 'He' must be saint??)
• You know what causes that right?
• Are you done yet?

And those are more nicer comments!!! Let me say out of the shoot - these things are offensive to large families! They may seem like innocent comments, and we may laugh them off along with you; but at the heart of these comments us an un-Biblical, erroneous and sinful thought: That children are a burden and not a blessing! (Understand that I do NOT have anyone in particular in mind right now, but am making general comments on a personal blog.)

It is clear that God calls children a blessings - so why would I want to hinder that blessing? I have heard all the arguments and most of them stem back to selfish desires and wants. I AM NOT SAYING THAT EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A LARGE FAMILY!!! That is not the point! There are some families that have tried for years to have children but have been unable to. Honestly, that breaks my heart! I would love to see those couples be able to have as many children as they want, but that is NOT our call!

What I am saying is that we should allow God to influence the size of our family - whether that's 1 child or 18 blessings! We should prayerfully consider these decisions in light of God's Word and Wisdom. I can give you lots of reasons why we should limit our family size, but just about all of them are un-Biblical. I can give you an equal number of reasons why we should ALLOW God to have control of that area of our lives. At the very least, bring God into the equation! Talk with Him, ask Him, then wait for a response!

My wife has had 5 C-sections and we are not sure if her body can handle any more. But we are equally unsure if her body will handle 1 more, or 5 more. We are not going to be irrational about it - we trust and value the opinion of her OB-GYN (who is the best in the area according to just about everyone). We believe God will make it know when he wants us to be finished. We also believe God has given us wisdom and discernment to process through these decisions.

OK, I had to get that off my chest.

THE Most Important Thing!

Homer Hickam, and nearly every other boy in town, had only one destination in life – to become miners just like their fathers.  Only one problem:  Homer did not want to become a miner.  He had seen what it had done to his father and family – sickness, poverty and even seeing men killed.  He had a bigger dream and vision, one that every fiber of his being longed to follow. 

 

But for his father, the most important thing was seeing his son carry on the Hickam tradition of being the Foreman in the mines and providing for your family. 

 

 So what is our most important thing?  What is the most important thing we should pass on down to our children?

Come May 17th at 6 PM in the Chapel of Colonial Woods Missionary Church to hear the rest of the Story.

Questions for Dean

I was contacted recently by a Children's Ministry volunteer in British Columbia, Canada about "interviewing" me for a Seminary project he his completing.  As I was typing the questions, I thought these would make some good blog posts to give you a climpse of what Colonial Woods is all about as well as the future vision of children's & family ministry hear.  Here are the first 3 questions and answers.  Enjoy!

1.  How long have you been with this church and what is the name of your position?

(found out that some people call themselves different than what is posted on the website)
I have been at Colonial Woods since January, 2007 after relocating from Longmont, Colorado.  My official title is Director of Children's Ministry.  I am working on my licensing currently and will hopefully have that by the end of this year.

2. How would you describe the state of Children’s and Family Ministry (CFM) when you first started at this church, what changes have been made so far, and where do you hope to see it?

I inherited a ministry that had been run primarily by "doers" (the person I replaced retired after about 15 years as the D of CM) as compared to leaders.  There was and still are elements that the D of CM is responsible to make sure everything happens (finding subs was a big issue).  I have been able to slowly turn this tide into showing people that their service to the kids is not "for me" but for the Kingdom out of their commitment to God. 

 

Also, when I came things were very traditional in just about every ministry setting - both services on Sunday, Sunday night, & Wednesday night.  Every room had one teacher and one helper (if they were lucky) teaching a traditional minded curriculum.  What I was able to do was slowly turn this tide and broaden into using some large group/small group stuff (Elevate during 2nd Service Elementary and 2:52 Basics on Wednesday night) as well as started an Elementary large group program on Saturday nights (which was a new service time added after I came).

 

Where I hope to go is to set up a volunteer coordinator or director in various spots to help oversee the growing numbers of kids and volunteers.  I would like to make a "business model" that has coordinators in charge of Sunday Pre-school, Sunday Elementary (1 for each of the 2 services), Sunday PM Pioneer Club (which I already have), a room coordinator for each room (who may also serve double duty as the teacher of one of the services), Wed PM Coordinator, etc.

 

Eventually I hope to move into a role of Family Pastor overseeing CM and youth ministry along with providing opportuniteis for parents to grow in passing their faith to their children at home.

3. You had mentioned a growing family ministry program.  Can you describe what that is and how it came to be?

Family Journey in Faith is our name for this FM that aims at partnering the church and parents together to bring about the spiritual formation of children.  We conduct 9 Take-It Home events throughout the year (Sept - June) where we bring children of a specific age/grade together with their parents and teach on a given topic.  I can send you a grid of what topics we cover for which grades if you would like.  It is  a program that initially started before I came, but that I took over leadership once I came on board (mainly b/c this is a passion area for me).  It is fashioned somewhat after Mark Holman's idea of "Faith-at-Home" from his books (which you can find info about online).

 

Our leadership had Mark Holman come and do a weekend event at our church before I came which was the impetus to starting FJIF.  I oversee a team of 5 other people (6 total with me) in which we share responsibilities to organize, conduct and teach the take-it-home events.

Mickey Mouse Vs. Jesus

I was changing my son's diaper the other day when he looked down and told me the character on the front of the diaper - Mickey Mouse.  Being the dutiful dad I said, "That's right Elijah, that's Mickey Mouse."  Almost immediately I thought, "Wait, he's barely 2 years old, how does he know who Mickey Mouse is?"  Who told him it was Mickey, why is he excited about having him on his diaper, why am I excited that he recognizes him?  

Then I thought, "Almost as soon as this kid came out of the womb, he began to see Disney movies:  Monster, Inc., Cars, Bugs Life, 101 Dalmatians, and the list goes on.  Granted, none of those have Mickey in them, but somewhere along the way (probably from his older siblings) he picked that up.  

What if we were able to instill who Jesus is this early?  What if by the time they reach 2 years of age, they can see pictures of Jesus, Joseph, Mary, etc. and say "That's ____________."  As more research comes out, the ages of Birth - 3, it is becoming more widely accepted that those are the ages of KEY influence.  These early years of life are so crucial in a child's personal AND SPIRITUAL development!  Jesus and other Bible Stories should be posted every where we go so that our kids barley know of any thing else.

Of course, this is extremely hard to do given the images coming into our homes every day.  If your kids spend any time watching television, or being around you while YOUR watching, chances are they have already been exposed to more than children growing up even 25 years ago!  Why not take some radical steps to decrease or eliminate the insane barrage of images that take our focus off of Jesus?  

Perhaps I am way out in left field, but I always try and remember that we are in a spiritual battle for the lives of our kids.  If kids are highly influential in their early years, then you can be sure the enemy knows this and will target them - just like we should!  Parents and Church, it's time to unite to make Jesus so famous, they will be putting his picture on our kid's diapers.

Dean

The Complete Picture

As mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I've been working on this concept of making FULLY, committed disciples of Christ and how that intersects with the different aspects of our being - physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual.  If you have not read my previous thoughts on that, do that first HERE.  

Kids and all humans are wired to want to grow!  As soon as kids start to grow physically we start calling them big boys or big girls.  We want kids to grow in their emotional health as well; for instance we buy a pet that some day we know will die so we can help kids know how to deal with death.  Intellectually we are especially wired to grow.  Infants start to crawl and 'rock' in order to reach (and eat) their favorite toy.  We are also wired to grow spiritually, but God's Word teaches us that we are wired to grow in a negative direction - Sin!

Where is this coming from?  I was recently reading a book by Dr. Tim Kimmel by Grace-Based Parenting.  In one chapter he mentions the need to develop our children in a complete capacity:  physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual.  However, he spends just as much time on the P, E, and I aspect that he does the Spiritual, if not more!

If we want our kids to make Christ the center of our lives, we need to spend far more time on the Spiritual aspect of who they are than on any other.  It should take precedence over everything else!  This can be stated another way:  If you put God first, everything else seems to fall into place.   While that phrase is a little crude, there is a great deal of truth in it.

So, while there is more to come on this topic, what do you think?  Am I off base on this?

More to come,

Dean

Sometimes, it means being a dork!

Sometimes being a father means you can't be afraid to be a little bit of a dork.  Kids just love dads who can be goofy and fun with them.  If you spend time doing that when they are little, chances are the teenage years may be a little less tumultuous....possibly.

Afterall, I am "The Ungrateful!"

Dean

How to Connect the Dots....Part 1

I recently heard Phil Vischer, creator of Veggie Tales, speak at a Children’s Pastor’s Conference where he talked about connecting the dots from Sunday to Sunday.  The question he posed to the children’s ministers listening was “How do we connect the kids, and connect WITH the kids, from Sunday to Sunday?”

He mentioned that kids on average watch 2-3 hours of television and spend an additional 2-3 hours on the internet EACH DAY.  It is no wonder why kids know more about Hannah Montana than they do about the teachings of Paul.  It’s also no wonder why kids are more emotionally engaged to American Idol than they are the Gospel of Christ.

As a Children’s Leader, this makes me ask at least one BIG question:  What can I do to connect the dots from Sunday to Sunday with the kids in our ministry?  Over the next few weeks, we will begin to look at that question and discuss:

 What works and what doesn’t work?

• What is most effective and least effective?
• Do we attempt a Family ministry program or not?

 Come back and check it out.  Also feel free to comment.

 Dean

One Big Controversy

OK, so maybe we can get a little discussion happening on this blog.  There is a rather large controversy (among many) that takes place in children's & family ministry today that I want to present to you:

Kids or No Kids:  Should kids be allowed in the adult church services?  Believe it or not, there are some churches that do not allow kids of any age into their adult services.  If brought in, the ushers kindly request the parents to take them to the children's ministry programming.  There are other churches (and not just home churches) that do not have any CM programming at all.  

For instance, check out this video.  It is a little lengthy, but proves the controversy exists:  

Pro Kids from Faith Promise Church on Vimeo.

Especially in light of current Family Ministry trends, what are your thoughts on the matter?  Let me get it going...

What message does this send to parents and kids about their place within the family of God.  Churches who take this stance believe that the "important work" is happening in the adult worship center, and that kids are 2nd class.  Moreover, the role of parents to spiritually train their children and therefore have the right to choose to take their kids with them or not, is trampled on worse thatn the United Nations wants to.  Yes, it's a distraction....yes, it is not geared for them...but this clealy sends a message of despising children and families.

Of couse, that is probably why churches like this are growing!  The modern-day church is rifed with this type of perception that children are simply a distraction to God's plan and purpose for the church ("Making Disciples").  WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!  Discipling our children IS God's plan and purpose for the church.  What better way to grow the church to impact the community and world than to disciple and train children in our own homes and churches to be salt and light into the world?  How do you think the Hebrew people were able to not only survive, but thrive while in slavary and exile???  Because they kept having children and training them to love God and keep His commandments (Deut. 6:4-9).

OK, enough of my thoughts.  What about some of you?  No Lurkers.  Let me hear what you have to say regardles of what side of the issue you are on.  You are safe here, no attacking comments will be allowed to remain.

Dean

Just because you can...

...does that mean you should?  OK, so this was a rather random thought I had the other day.  I had gone to eat at Arby's and had one of their new Roast Beef Burger Sandwiches.  When I was finished, the mangager happend to ask what I thought:

Me:  "It was pretty good."

Arby's:  "Would you order it again."

Me:  "Ummm, probably not.  I'm a pretty big Beef 'n Cheddar and Marketfresh Reuben fan.  It's hard to pass those up."

So here's the deal.  Someone at Arby's thought up this idea, spent money on creating it and test marketing it long before releasing to the public.  It's a good sandwich, but is not something they will be known for any length of time.

My question/application is:  Just because you think a new food item could be created, and received well, should you do it?  When I think of a burger, I think of a flame-broiled burger with cheese, pickles, ketchup, mustard, etc....  It does not work!

Is that like any of our ministry programs?  Are there things we are doing or starting simply because we can?  Where does it fit in the overall vision or mission of the church?  I would encourage all of us to ask these questions before spending time and money into something that will, in the long run, not be something we are remembered by.

Dean

Why Did I Get Married? Part 2

OK, so there was quite a bit in this movie that I wanted to share, so I thought I would do a second post.

There is also one point in the movie in which one of the wives encourages two of the other wives to call their husbands and face their fears of rejection in order to save their marriages. That got me thinking if I have been vulnerable with my spouse recently. I think sometimes we get used to the normal routine of life and forget to let our spouse know just how we feel about them and what we like about them.

I know I have certainly felt that, at times, I was afraid to be vulnerable with my wife for fear of rejection.  I doubt I am alone in that (at least I hope I'm not, because that would mean I'm a freak).

Parents:  the BEST gift you can give your children is a solid marriage built on THE Rock of Jesus Christ.  Being able to talk about what bothers and hurts you is a step in the right direction.

Dean