Generational Blessing

I ran across a website today from a group called Family Foundations International - a group founded by Craig and Jan Hill.  I came across the site while looking up information of family blessings, one of our upcoming topics for a Take-It Home event in March.

I thought I would share the site with you as it has some great resources and ideas on the importance of carrying out a blessing to your children.  They have a book on having a Bar Barakah ("son of Blessing," Bat Barakah means "daughter of Blessing") to release kids into adulthood.  It's sort of the Christian version of the Bar Mitzvah.  

There are even some neat videos on YouTube.  This one specifically shows how one family carries that out.

Some food for thought.

New Survey

At the risk of getting too controversial, what is your opinion on having and/or taking your kids to the adult service? I've been involved in a discussion at another blog and am curious what prompts parents to make the decision they do.

Take the survey and post a comment about what you do as parents.

Dean

Do you want to know what your kids really think?

Or better yet - do you want to know what other parents are struggling with or thinking about? New Spring Church in Anderson, South Carolina has created a website called ParentsAreClueless.com where kids and parents alike can go and type in their secret and anonymous thoughts. This is in conjunction with a Parenting series they are starting called "The Perfect Kid." Check out the promo video here.

As I read through several of the Bubbles on either side of the page, I was struck with just how deep some hurts can go. I was also struck with how, apparently, parents and kids don't feel like they can talk to each other. Now, I do not have teenagers yet, though my time is coming, but as parents we must take the lead on talking with our parents. If you can find the time, sit down and write out some of your own secret thoughts about you fears, your kids and your spouse then take the step to share them with someone.

What do you have to loose if you do it? What do you have to loose if you don't?

Dean

Quality of a Legacy Family - Conflict Resolution Skills

Often when studies are conducted they look at things from a negative perspective. For instance, researchers try to study what a good family looks like by studying what dysfunctional families are and then try to reverse it. This causes potential problems. If you look at a dysfunctional family, you can see that they argue a lot.

Well researches then say, "To be a successful family, you should not argue." Well, even strong, legacy-focused families are not immune to stress and crisis, but they are not as crisis-prone as troubled families tend to be. IT'S WHAT TAKES PLACE IN BETWEEN THE ARGUMENTS THAT MAKES A FAMILY SUCCESSFUL OR TROUBLED.

Legacy-focused families possess the ability to manage both daily stressors and difficult life crises creatively and effectively. They know how to prevent trouble before it happens, and how to work together to meet the inevitable challenges when they occur.

So next time you are in an arugument or tiff with your spouse or child, remember that to be a legacy family, you simply must strive to make peace. Here are two links that may help in making that happen. From Peacemaker Ministires, this LINK is called the Four G's to help bring positive resolution and outcome to conflicts. Or, if you simply need to confess, this LINK provide 7 A's of Confession.

Yes, it's that important.

Dean

Quality of a Legacy Family - Communication

I know you've seen in done in movies - two people start to like each other and spend a romantic evening together. Next thing you know, something gets misconstrued or misunderstood and then they get mad at each other. It's the kind of scene that makes you want to scream out "Why don't you just communicate?!?!" (Maybe it is just me who wants to do that?)

Next to having a strong faith in Christ Jesus, this is the biggest need in leaving a legacy of faith as well as a legacy of a strong marriage. Parents, it is essential to communicate with each other and with your kids. Let me challenge you do read the book pictured to the right, The Good Listener by James E. Sullivan. It is only about 130 pages long and a very quick read.

However, it is powerful in expressing the importance of listening. It shows how listening is equated with Love, when we do listen a clear message of love and belonging is heard. When we are distracted and do not clearly listen, a message of apathy is received. None of us are perfect (if you are, I would love to talk with ya), but we need to strive to listen with nothing else distracting us.

His, Dean

It's about Quality Time, Not Quantity Time

Well after years of research in original Greek manuscripts of the New Testament, the Greek word for that idea is...................bologna! I LOVE this verse in Deuteronomy:

"If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married." (24:5)

How great would that be! Only having one responsibility for a whole year: your family! When Pastor Phil spoke about this issue back on June 17, he used that phrase, "Dad's...PASTOR your families."

Care for them, offer input and advice, pray for them, organize activities for them, teach them, etc. Specifically, simply tell your kids something everyday about your walk with Christ. Of course, that assumes YOU ARE following Christ.

The song "A Few Good Men" by the Gaither Vocal Band is a wonderful testament to what is needed. Here is small taste:

Till next time, Dean

6 Qualities of a Legacy Family - Commitment

Continuing our look into Pastor Phil's Legacy Series, I want to highlight the 1st Quality of a Strong or Legacy Family: Commitment!

Parents, it is ESSENTIAL that you are fully committed to your spouse and your kids! Take divorce off the table and keep it off! It should NEVER be an option. I Timothy 5:8 reads: "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

You may, however, already experienced the pain of divorce and or the separating of your family. If that is you, pay special attention: God has a special place in His Heart for you and your children!

• "He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing." -Deut. 10:18
• Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27

Jesus loves and so do we! This is not meant to be a message of condemnation, but of love. OK, back to the issue of Commitment...

Commitment is essential for 3 things: Success, Security, & Spiritual Strength! With it, your family will inevitably fall apart. So, how can we help you achieve this? The Family Journey in Faith Team wants to see all families not only survive but thrive within the Presence of God. Let us help you be FULLY committed to your family. Feel free to contact us at dean@colonialwoodsmc.com.

'til then, Dean

6 Qualities of a Legacy Family

If you had attended our church services this past weekend, you would have heard a great message from Pastor Phil entitled "Six Qualities of a Legacy Family" that you can check out by clicking HERE! You can also get your own notes to complete by clicking HERE! But here is a brief review.

These six qualities come from a study secular study out of University of Nebraska that you can research further by looking at this Google Search. Here they are:

1. Commitment to the Family

2. Spending Time Together

3. Good Communication

4. Problem Solving Skills in Crisis

5. Express Love and Affection to One Another

6. Religious or Spiritual Faith

Over the coming weeks, we will look at each of these qualities more in depth, but for now ponder this statement: Quality Time Happens IN THE MIDST of Quantity Time. We will come back to these in the near future.

His, Dean